Tuesday, March 23, 2010

5 Days...More or Less...

After months and months of wondering, we are down to days...
Do we have a son?
Do we have a daughter?
When will the birth date be?

We are excited, anxious, and pondering this leap from 12 years of Just The Two of Us status to A Family Of Three status. The mind-boggling thoughts + the uncomfortable body form I find myself in have caused me many sleepless hours. I can't really nest as we are not even really unpacked in this rental, but yesterday and today I've tried to get my ducks in a row. {Have you ever thought of that saying? Can you ever really line ducks in a row? That might be why it seems like I get something done (clean the microwave) and I realize I need to do something else (clean the fridge)...those ducks will never line up straight. I've been trying to get them lined up my entire life! Sorry about that - just something else to ponder...} Edited to Add: I think it should be "get my geese in a flying V formation" - then it might just work...what do you think?

Aaron gets some significant time off for paternity leave, and all week long I've equated it to how I felt every year before summer break - pure elation and expectation of fun, joy, and freedom. We've declared, though, that I never had another little human appear in our lives right before my summer breaks. I truly think I am more excited about his paternity leave than he is. With this addition to our lives, I'm hoping and praying for an end to a tough season for me (and Aaron, for that matter...). I would NEVER recommend moving half-way across the country, leaving friends, a church you love, familiarity, an unpacked/situated/decorated/good-smelling/perfectly-painted/nicely-carpeted/clean home, & a fulfilling job while expecting your first child after almost 12 years of marriage (and after just losing your precious baby girl doggy). I have felt listless, useless, and somewhat lonely - not the lonely where I ache so much for actual friends, family, neighbors, and other such people, but the I-am-stuck-in-the-house-for-hours-on-end-in-a-place-I-don't-really-like-and-the-weather-is-terrible-and-I-hate-wind-and-Aaron-has-to-work-too-many-hours lonely. I filled my time with good books, walks with Fletcher, sewing, and dreaming of the baby - but - there is only so much of all that you can do.

So, I am not only on the countdown to the BABY, but also on the countdown to AARON IS HOME WITH US. I realize that the baby will bring many different challenges, changes, and craziness, but I feel like I see a light at the end of the tunnel - spring, sunshine (let's nix the wind, though), getting a special human gift from the Lord, my husband around more, and maybe some answers to our future. Speaking of our future, we know 3 things: 1) We will have a baby in the next week or so. 2) We will be moving out of our rental in 3 or fewer months. 3) We will most likely be leaving the Edmond area. Where will we go? What will we do? We don't know. We do know we could use some prayers for all of this, though!

Jeremiah 29:11 ~ I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not to abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. (The Message)

Thank you, Lord, for knowing our future, having a plan for us, taking care of us, loving us, and letting us lean on You and rest in You. What would we do without You? P.S. I can't wait to meet the little person you've given us to take care of, love, and raise to love and know You!

3 comments:

  1. We are praying for you daily... well, maybe more like hourly. We are so excited with you. We were just explaining to Brody that he will be getting a new cousin soon. (Not sure how much he understood though! :)) We cannot wait to receive THE phone call - no matter the time - day or night!!

    Hayley - know that I am praying for my neice or nephew... but also know that I am really praying for YOU. Praying God will provide you with strength... praying for a quick delivery... praying for God's peace... praying for your heart... Know that I love you.

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  2. I wish we could sit and have a cup of coffee (water for you) and just chat!! I love you girl. It's been a ride for you lately. I can so relate. We moved to Utah when I was 6 months pregnant with Tatum - wasn't our first but still so hard. I'm praying for you and that the little one comes soon. I just got the prayer request email from the church that your mom sent out. We'll be praying for all three of you! ! ! Love ya

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  3. I can relate to what you're going through. We moved from Oregon to OK when I was 6 months pregnant and moved again when I was pregnant this last time. Thinking of you and can't wait to hear the news! I'm sure your mom will let the church know right away (at least I hope so!)

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